Dear
Everyone,
MUSICIANS
WANTED FOR DWYLE FLUNKING MATCH, LEWES ARMS, SUNDAY 8TH. JULY, 3.00
p.m. – 5.30 p.m.
Now that Harveys Bitter and the range of
Harveys seasonal beers has been restored to the Lewes Arms, the original
eco-system is re-establishing itself. (Moves are afoot to have the pub
declared a Site of Special Scientific Importance or at least a protected
habitat and there has been a call for a Chair of Lewes Arms Studies to be
created at Sussex University, jointly funded by the Departments of
Anthropology, Chemistry, Economics, Sociology and Psychology.)
The
annual dwyle-flunking fixture between the Lewes Operatic Society and the
hop-based life-forms of the front bar will be held at 3.00 p.m. on Sunday
8th July on the
time-hallowed and somewhat scarred tarmac in front of the Lewes Arms.
(Pictures of a match held on Sunday
27th. May between members of Cliffe Bonfire Society and the Lewes
Arms Wanderers can be seen on http://allthingsbrightonbeautiful.com/gallery/dwyleflunk?page=1.)
Musicians who play for the game get free
drinks and immunity from being hit with a cloth full of stale beer or anything
else. We play English session tunes and have to be prepared to stop at any
moment: it's rather like playing for musical chairs, but messier. Let me know
if you'd like to take part.
Here are the
rules of this
ancient and almost mystical sport.
There
are two teams of twelve. They dress themselves in bucolic gear and their
kit is inspected by the umpire before play begins. Points are deducted for
poor turn-out, such as the absence of twirlers (string tied round trouser legs
to keep rats out) and excessively flarksy weskits.
The
first member of the batting side takes a position next to a bucket of
carefully-matured beer in which is a swadger (broom handle) with a dwyle (bar towel) wrapped round the end. At
a blast on the umpire's duck whistle, music strikes up and out desperately and
the members of the fielding team join hands and dance round the ‘Batsman’ (or woman) in a girter
(circle). When the umpire blows again the dancing team must
immediately stop, but must not break the girter. The Batsman must then flunk
the dwyle at any member of the opposing team. Scoring is one point for a hit
on the arms or legs, two for a hit on the body and three for a hit on the
head. If they miss, they have to drink a pint straight down in less time than
it takes the fielders to pass the swadger from hand to hand round the circle
or lose a point. Musicians are protected by heavy fines from being splashed
with stale beer and eligible for bribes in the form of free
drinks.
The
Batsman may be fined for hesitation; the fielders may be fined for breaking
the circle or moving after the whistle. Anyone may be fined for intimidation.
A Batsman who splashes the band or onlookers is fined. A side whose score is
weak can improve it by bribing the umpire, scorer or the band with drink,
gifts or sexual favours. One year every member of a team gave the umpire a
scented candle, so this is not necessarily as attractive as it might sound.
Bribes are declared to the scorer and registered in the score book. At the end
of the match the losing side may empty the bucket over the umpire.
This is obviously a pagan survival
which has evaded religious persecution by adopting a faintly
Christian disguise. Students of folklore will recognise elements from the
Grail legends: the Holy Spear, the vinegar-soaked rag and the vessel of bitter
drink. The dancers in their circle echo the twelve apostles, but also the
members of a coven. The Batsman is a sacrificial victim who spreads blessing
in the form of a stylised asperging before being dispatched for the good of
the community. The umpire's fate would have originally been ritual drowning,
but appears to have been converted to stylised baptism in accordance with the
practices of the more modern religion.